THE ANCHOR HOLDS, I'LL STAND

I've been so bipolar for about 2 months now! One minute I'm excited and the next minute I feel so sad, hurt, disappointed, pained and totally confused. I could be having a fun convo with a friend via bb/facebook/whatsapp and totally sending all the 'LOL' 'LMHO' but at the same time sobbing about random things I've had to deal with lately. How did I get here? How did things get this bad?

I do miss me, I miss the normal jumpy, friendly and happy May! These days I've become so isolated and churchophobic... it is like I've developed a sudden and weird kind of phobia for people, especially fellow Christians. For some weeksssss I've had to attend both mid-week and Sunday church services via the internet in order to keep sane and also re-examine my walk with God.

I miss having dad around too. Sometimes I think my life would have been so much easier if he was here with me. There are a lot of things on mind, so many questions, so many issues I wish to sort out, things I wish I could change and dramas I wish I never saw, heard or experienced.

Through these all, I've learnt to handle friendships with care because sometimes in life, a friendly face can be your enemy's mask. For someone like me who can be very open, straight-forward and non-secretive with close friends, I've had to learn the difference between love and trust and this was a very very very hard lesson to learn. I've learnt to give room for humans to be humans irrespective of how close they are to me or God... Even though I sometimes like to deceive myself, I know not everyone will treat me the way I would treat them given the same circumstance.

The bible actually says love your neighbour as yourself not trust your neighbour as yourself. Since LadyMay will continue be LadyMay and I can't change the way God made me, I have come to a conclusion to keep on loving people and increasing the number of sugarpies, honeypies, brothers and sisters I have BUT to trust God in them instead. That way it won't hurt so much when they display their human tendencies.   ***Thinking out loud*** Talking about brothers and sisters, trust me when I say I have loads of them in different parts of the world, interestingly I have never met some of them before but they've been a HUGE blessing to me.

So back to the main gist, life has been very dramatic and traumatic lately. The devil has really tried using people I love and care about so much to break me but mercy said no...Thank God for Jesus! I'm actually beginning to see more clearly by the day that there is something quite unique and special about me. If I was very ordinary, the devil won't bother trying to frustrate me at every given opportunity but it's not over until God says it's over. My light will shine no matter the darkness around me! No matter the number of rocks life throws at me, I'll keep standing on Christ the solid rock and after these tests, I'll be back to share my testimonies!

Dear friends, life isn't always going to be easy but when our faith seems to be getting weak we have to make effort to keep standing! Bible says in Ephesians 6:10-13  “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand”

When life upsets you, stand! When you feel disappointed and betrayed, stand! When you feel weary and tired, stand! Keep standing, encourage yourself in the Lord, pray, read the word, sing hymns and keep saying to yourself "The anchor holds", "No power of hell, no scheme of man will ever pluck me from his hand, till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand"

When you don't even get what God is up to and why you are still standing, just stand! Your big tests are bringing you big testimonies in due time, keep standing and all will be well.

With love,

 LadyMay.

Because I KNOW MY God, I'm Strong, Doing Exploits & Amazing Myself.

If you know a little bit about me, then you would have noticed that I like to plan ahead. I love dreaming and creating mental pictures of where I'll like to be in the future, what I'll like to do and goals I'll love to have achieved. With these dreams comes questions, worse case scenarios and 'what ifs'...What if this doesn't happen? What if that happens?

You see, in life things don't necessarily go the way we plan even after series of preparation and marathon prayers. For me, some of the things I dreaded most, my worst case scenarios actually happened. I never thought I would have been able to face or survive these challenges but here I am today basking in God's glory. In those very places where I was despised, He has made me beautiful and now I'm called sought out, desirable and not forsaken (Isaiah 62:12).

Sometimes God lets us go through certain things just so we can get to know Him better. In the words of Sarah Goebel, "God is revealed in the devastations and challenges of life. Without them, how would we know God? These events are a necessary part of life’s journey in order for us to know our God and do mighty exploits".

In Daniel 11:32b, the bible says "But the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits". Like you, I've had my fair share of ups and downs but because I know my God, I'm strong, doing exploits & amazing myself! How well do you know your God? Do you really have a relationship with Him? Selah!

Have a blessed day
With love,
LadyMay

BE A SALT, MAKE IMPACT !

Matthew 5:13 is one of my favourite verses in the bible, it gets me thinking about my life and areas I need to work on. The bible verse reads "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men."

What exactly does the bible mean when it says "Ye are the salt of the earth...”?

How can we Christians be the salt of the earth?

Salt is a form of flavour that gives taste to meals. If God says we are the salt of the earth I think what He means is that He has placed us on this planet to add some flavour to the world. We can't just live and die without making impact! Just as a tiny portion of salt adds flavour to meals, we must make positive impact everywhere we go no matter how little.

Salt sweetens food, therefore our lives should sweeten the life of those around us. When things are going sour/tough for them, our words, attitude, actions and way of life should be able to sweeten and brighten up their world.

Salt preserves and prevents decay, God has placed we Christians on earth as a preservative to stop people from rotting in their sin. Every Christian has a responsibility to evangelise (Mark 16:15-16), it's our duty to go out there and call sinners to repentance. Have I really been a salt? When last did I win a soul for Christ? Hmmm, God help me.

Salt is actually one of the cheapest and probably the smallest ingredient needed to make a nice pot of stew, yet it makes all the difference. Imagine how tasteless and horrible a pot of stew will taste without salt...no amount of seasonings can do the work of tiny salt. You are the salt of the earth! No matter how irrelevant, tiny, financially unstable or cheap you think you are, no other person on earth can impact the world like you would. God has placed something special in you and the whole world is waiting to see it (Romans 8:19)

BE A SALT; MAKE AN IMPACT IN YOUR WORLD.

The Pains & Gains of Waiting on God

Waiting for something to happen isn't always an exciting experience. It is a lot easier to wait when you know that at a set period your wishes will be granted but things can get really stressful when waiting on God for something and it seems like nothing is happening for years. The bible says in Isaiah 40:31   "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint".  According to this verse, waiting on the Lord when things are not fine should strengthen Christians but in my case I realised ‘waiting on God’ made me very restless a few times in the past.

 It was really a painful and annoying experience but after searching my heart, I discovered that those times I said I was waiting on God for something, what I really meant was “I'm waiting on time and chance for something to happen”. Instead of totally putting all my trust and hope in God who is capable of doing all things, I unconsciously consoled myself by assuming with time everything will be just fine with time...Big mistake! That mind-set made the waiting period very frustrating. 

Many of us have things we are waiting on God for, some need children of their own, good spouse, better job, good house etc. but when you say you are waiting on God, are you really waiting on Him? Do you trust and depend totally on Him to do exceedingly abundantly above all you think and desire?There is a huge difference between waiting and waiting on God. An online dictionary says to wait is to remain inactive until something expected happens but I think waiting on God is to stay active till something expected happens. Waiting on God doesn't mean you stay idle, it involves you actively trusting God and praying until something positive happens. Waiting on God means even when God seems quiet, you are at peace, relying fully on Him to step in and grant your heart desires right on time. Waiting on God means making efforts to strip yourself off your self-strength (I can handle it attitude) and depending totally on God for strength. It is only the strength from God that can keep you at peace in the midst of the storm and mount you up with wings as eagles so that you can soar far above your challenges. 

  Having said these, the waiting room isn't a bed of roses! While waiting on God, there will be diverse temptations both from the devil and loved ones who mean well. People will suggest so many alternatives and sometimes due to pressure it is very easy to start considering these options even when we know that is not the will of God for us. I have seen Christian youths who due to lack of jobs ended up doing all sort of crazy things just to make money. When you ask such people why they do these wrong things they come up with excuses like 'I was frustrated, I got tired of waiting'.  Dear friend, I know it is not easy when most of your classmates who were not as smart as you back in high school are driving Bentley's and you, with all your church activities are going around in a footwagon. I understand the feeling but you have to "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth."- Psalm 37:7-9

I do not know exactly what you are going through and even if I did, I may not have the solutions but God does and I encourage you to wait on Him! We all have our waiting seasons! Joseph waited 13 years, Abraham waited for 25 years and even Jesus had to wait for 30 years so you are in good company if you are in a waiting season JJJ. I have had painful periods of waiting in the past when it seemed like God had turned his back on me, I waited, prayed, cried, grumbled, ranted and then prayed a little more but despite all my effort nothing was happening. Even as I type this blog post, some of my prayer requests are yet to be answered but then I'm still waiting!  I've given up being so anxious and surrendered everything into the hands of a Sovereign God who can do anything whenever, wherever and however!  Life is so much easier that way and it is my prayer that very soon, like the psalmist, we will share our testimonies saying "I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry"- Psalm 40:1. AMEN!

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD -Psalm 27:14

Have a blessed week,

With love

LadyMay.

AFFLICTION by Gracefulthinking.

AFFLICTION:  a state of being in pain, grief, misery, or distress.

There have been moments when I have felt pain. My heart hurt. Uncontrollable tears fall from my eye, and an internal turmoil began.

I would battle with myself for being weak. For allowing, the pressures of my circumstance weigh me down. I would tell myself that I was stronger than this. Vulnerability, equated weakness, and I could not, would not allow the world giggle at my imperfection.

But the truth is. I wasn’t. I wasn’t even strong enough to hold back tears.

Like many of us, I used to wallow in my grief, misery and distress. I would allow the enemy make a fool of me. I would act, react, overreact, and underreact to my current state, from a heart that was consumed by disdain, unhappiness and sorrow. My mood would reflect my mood and I would be unable to shield that from my countenance.

What I was unconsciously doing here was giving too much power to that AFFLICTION.

BUT GOD…….(Halleluyah*********)

I have come to realise that as a child of the creator, external/internal factors that seek to make a mockery of the Joy, which is my strength, run the risk of being ‘taken out’ by the creator. God is in the business of ‘uprooting’.

I am daily learning to let God fight my battles for me because he already won the WAR. I have to admit, allowing a deity that is so much more beautiful, divine; awesome than my mind could ever comprehend to mitigate my misfortunes is difficult. However, as I previously mentioned, God is in the business of ‘uprooting’.

Again, like many of us, I can be adamant, headstrong, sometimes unyielding, and I would rather try and fail, fail and fail again before I ever ask anyone for help. Nevertheless, God is renewing my mind, and daily teaching me that I need to want to need him, otherwise he cannot deliver me. He bids me to come to him, because I am weary and he will give me rest. I have to obey that commandment and COME.

What are those afflictions, which continue to hurt your heart, ruin your mascara, birth more afflictions?

There is an overwhelming sense of freedom that comes with release. When you know that someone greater, bigger, stronger has got it, and you no longer have to hold it, rack your brain for a way to fix it, cry over it…

Release yourself from the shackles of affliction. Cease to grant them the power to control you…. Let God Deliver You.

Love and Light xx

P.S. Today's post was written by a sister friend of mine, Grace Nquot (You can check out her blog http://gracefulthinking.wordpress.com/). I could relate to every single sentence in the post because I've been there before, I know exactly how it feels to be suffering deep within when everybody thinks you are okay based on what they see but God saw me through it all.

 I don't know what kind of pain, distress, misery or trial you are currently going through LL The good news I know is that God is able and willing to see you through it all only if you will just cast all your cares upon him. Remember the bible says in Psalms 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”  God will surely deliver you so keep trusting! Hold on and be strong JJJ All will be well JJJ

Need something else to cheer you up? Check out this video on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrr2aqlCPz8

Have a fabulous weekend

With Love,

LadyMayxx

May's Diaries: The journey from BabyMay to LadyMay.

 Yipeeeeee! Finally I get to start blogging. A few friends suggested this a while ago but I simply couldn't be bothered. For over a year now, I have pretty much been in my own world  jumping from one 'drama' to the other. Seriously speaking, how do atheists cope? The only thing that has kept me going is the fact that I know there is God who sees everything and makes things beautiful in his time. Trust me when I say life has been crazy and challenging but I've decided to have fun and ride however the tide.


So yes, welcome to my blog where I'll be sharing HOT gists! Lol! My stories, emotional dramas, spiritual struggles, life's challenges, health talks and the lessons God taught me during my various wilderness experiences.  I call this "The journey from BabyMay to LadyMay", you can call it "May's Diaries" if you wish but this is me, the other side of me.  



P.S.   If you are going through one challenge or the other, I just want to remind you that even though God may seem quiet, He is not dead! He is very much alive and very soon, He will make all things beautiful.  Do not give up on God yet, keep praying and  keep trusting!  "These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us." (2 Corinthians 4:17 MSG)